I am lost

I am a lost puppy...seriously...

I am toiling with my emotions right now over something that could possibly be a simple matter. Meh...

I need to cry...I want to cry... but I can't. not when I'm in the office... :(
  • Current Mood
    numb numb

i seem to mope a lot...

it has been a while since I last wrote here. My focus has been on my food adventures and now I think it is time to write about my feelings.

I have not felt this overwhelmed by emotions until now. I have become a lost puppy. Not knowing whether I'm doing the right thing especially in letting go a special person whom I clearly hold very dearly to my heart. I have done stupid things to keep that person near me. I kept my hopes up because of many things that happened even after we went separate ways.

I sincerely hope we can be friends because this person means more to me than anything else. Not having this person in my life would mean sheer disappointment...I don't want to lose this person to my rantings, and irrational behaviour... sigh...it can happen to the best of people that's for sure...
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed


... can't it be an easier task to just love someone and not have to worry about everything else?
... can it not just be about you and me?
... does it have to always boil down to the petty stuff and never the big stuff?
... must we worry so much???
  • Current Music
    X Factor

Where am I now...

It is quite an amazing journey...

To persevere in wanting something that you believe in is a journey worth taking. It doesn't matter in what area of your life this journey is because whatever the consequence, the journey that takes you there is something worth remembering.

I have had the opportunity to be in many different phases of life where I could say, I have it made. But there are some things that you know you want to do more. I know my journey in life is still not complete. There are only a few individuals that truly and clearly etch their presence in my life.

One such person is you.

You entered my life at the most unassuming moment
I didn't know what to expect nor what to feel
A roller coaster ride of emotions
A rush and suspense
There is no turning back

You take my breath away
You fill my life with laughter
When you smile, I smile and I can't help it
Because you give me ultimate happiness

I feel I can do more when I am with you
I feel I can achieve more with you by me
Your mere presence shakes my world
And knowingly stays there just because

For all the reasons in the world
There is no explanation for you
As you continue to be in my life
And perhaps not having one
Will do and is enough for me

As I live each day
I take solace in knowing
There is every possibility
That I would hear your voice
Have you coo me and tell me
Sweetie, come here...
Lay your head by my shoulder
And know everything is all right
I am here, I am not going anywhere...

So where am I now
I don't know
All I know is
I am walking this journey with you
And for the first time
I have never been this sure about anything
As I am with you...
  • Current Music
    German Radio


I have now graduated!

I am for the first time actually applying for jobs.

I am for the numerous time, still in weird situations... hahahahahaha..

But enjoying it would be the right phrase to use for now.
  • Current Music
    the buzzing of the refrigerator

And that it was...

...2 years since I stepped foot in London and stayed here for a long period to pursue a Masters.

I have met wonderful people along the way, many of whom I know will stay as friends for the rest of my life :)
I am happy for now... but the next phase is coming and what it is, it is still left to be discovered. But for now, I just need to be at peace with myself. I know who I am, I know what I can be and I know what I want...or do I?
  • Current Music
    the silence of the night

will I...


maybe i moan about this way too often but I know I am not special and that everyone else goes through what I go through. But freaking hell...it is still painful!!! I am tired... just plain tired...
  • Current Music

All good things

must come to an end...

What I thought would have been something
It no longer is now..

What do I make of it?
Still trying to process it really...
  • Current Music


the inspiration strikes me at the oddest hour

seriously... am not kidding you... one bit...

anywhere, on the bus, in the bathroom, when i start day dreaming, that's when poetry comes into my head... maybe that's why i'm so frenzied all the time...

  • Current Music
    Wait For You - Elliot Yamin